By Carmelia Ray
Q: As guys, we’re lead to believe that, “bigger is better;” but for most women, is that really important?
Guys are often concerned about the size of their manhood (especially compared to others). They wonder what women really think. The truth is, if you take a random survey of 100 women asking them if size really matters, you’d probably get a different answer every time. Size deﬁnitely matters to some women, and for various reasons. But for others, they would agree with the phrase, “it’s not the size of the ship, it’s the motion of the ocean.”
Penis size can certainly have an effect on how the sex feels vaginally, but it’s deﬁnitely not a guarantee for passion. Some women I’ve talked to complain about their guys being too big, causing them to experience painful sex. If you’re packing a long schlong, it doesn’t mean you’re a better lover than a guy with a less than average size. Bragging about how big you are doesn’t always give you an advantage in the bedroom. It may lure a lady to your den, but keeping her there is another story altogether. Inattentive lovers sporting a big penis have no long-term advantage over a modestly sized guy who knows how to get their partner to reach orgasm.
When Does Size Matter?
New research by the Journal of Sexual Medicine has shown that contrary to popular or wishful thinking, size does matter for women who can only achieve vaginal orgasm through deep penetration (nothing a great toy can’t solve).
AskMen.com published the results of a study focused on the average penis size. They reported, “A comprehensive worldwide study of more than 40 independent penis size research projects, undertaken since 1942, has come up with a general penis size guideline. With over 11,000 participants, the survey puts the average erect size of the adult penis between 5.5 inches and 6.2 inches in length and 4.7 inches and 5.1 inches in girth. In addition, according to a recent survey, 90 percent of women prefer a wide penis to a long one because increases in length do little to enhance her physical pleasure.”
Generally speaking, size matters more to men than it does to the women they’re after. Worrying about your penis size won’t do you any good. This type of thinking, along with your lack of conﬁdence, will hinder your chances to score with the girl you’re after. You may also be jeopardizing the quality of the sex.
Many studies report that guys with big penises have more sex. Arguably, this is due to these men having more conﬁdence. A high level of conﬁdence can make someone seem more desirable. There is hope for the smaller guys who are conﬁdent in their abilities as a lover. Many women admit that guys who have great bedroom skills are the ones compensating for their lack of size.
Achieving orgasm for many women involves clitoral stimulation. Penetration may have nothing at all to do with the orgasm. Women climax very differently and have numerous sexual triggers and erogenous zones to help them achieve orgasm. Satisfying sex and passionate lovemaking is not directly related to the size of a man’s package.
So guys, don’t stress if your penis doesn’t measure up. Be proud of what you’ve got, and know that penetration isn’t the only thing women care about. Romancing, seducing, ﬂirting, touching, fondling, petting, licking and kissing her in all her erogenous zones with a manly and conﬁdent attitude is a sure way to take the focus off your (lack of) size.
Carmelia Ray is a matchmaking expert and author from Toronto, Canada. She has been a professional matchmaker and dating coach for over 20 years.