By Carmelia Ray
This is a bit tricky. Giving a sexy gift to your best friend should only be allowed if you want to let her know you’re interested in being more than friends. If you’re looking for an ideal gift that tells her you value her as a friend and — bonus — you think she’s hot, here are a few ideas that will leave her curious about the meaning behind your gift choice, in a good way. Just be careful though: if you aren’t entirely sure how she will reciprocate your gesture (i.e. possibly unfriending you on Facebook), tread lightly.
1. Erotic literature: you may not want to be so bold as Fifty Shades of Grey, but there are some lighthearted reads that will have her laughing and wondering what your intentions are at the same time. Try: The Sexy Book of Sexy Sex by Kristen Schaal (you’ll recognize her from Flight of the Concords) or, for the science-minded lady, Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex by Mary Roach.
2. A spa gift certificate: This shows you want her to be pampered — and perhaps that you’ve been picturing her with nothing but a towel on.
3. A trinket from your past: Whether it’s your favourite sweater or a memento from a fun trip you guys shared, it’ll be an everyday reminder of how much you care about her — and the added bonus of your pheromones could have her thinking about you in ways she never imagined.
Your friends with benefits
There are really no limitations to what kind of sexy gift you can give your FWB. Typically, this relationship is black and white: you both have an understanding of the dynamics of your agreement. While you should reserve sentimental gifts for a woman you have an emotional relationship with, it doesn’t mean your lover isn’t worthy of originality. Look at your FWB as your sexual playmate and get creative — and for the most part, with this type of relationship you don’t need to worry about spending oodles of cash.
1. Novelty lubricants: Forget the run-of the-mill lube. Try super-slippery, warming, tingling, or flavoured varieties that you may have never tried before. Try: Sex Butter, an organic, 100-per cent edible lube made for passionate moments (sexbutter.net).
2. Play up a fantasy: Reverse roles and show up at her front door half-naked in a suggestive uniform. Whatever you do, make it fun — and make it hot!
3. A massage candle: These specially formulated candles won’t burn when you drip their wax onto her body — in fact, it doubles as sensual massage oil! (Just make sure this gift comes with an offer to rub her down.) Try: Skinny Dip Massage Candles (skinnydipcandle.com).
The newly dating
At this stage in the game, there’s a fine line between what women consider hot and what would be considered creepy. A carefully selected gift can be used to fast-forward the level of sexual curiosity and turn up the heat. Focus on sending a message to her: you’re ready to take it to the next level.
1. An activity-based weekend getaway: Book a room with two queen-sized beds, and see if she upgrades or requests a king. Either way, this is your opportunity to take the lead and have her follow. Keeping the vacation pressure-free by booking sightseeing tours and scheduling activities will create a fun atmosphere that will lead to lots of laughter, memories, and — hopefully — the big O.
2. The Aphrodisiac Cookbook: Need we say more? To make this extra special, choose a favourite recipe and shop for all the required ingredients, then suggest that you make it together. If you’re lucky, you will be testing out your culinary know-how in the kitchen — and cunnilingus skills in the bedroom. Bon appétit!
Your significant other
The keys to sexy gift giving for your girlfriend or wife is the thought, consideration, meaning, and delivery behind your present. You both probably know each other pretty well, so use this as an opportunity to explore areas of your relationship that you may not have approached before.
1. Suggestive cards or coupons: Walk into any sex shop and you will find a whole slew of sexy gift-giving ideas, and a couple of the best are the cards and coupons they offer. Why not get your creative (and other) juices flowing by making your own? Some examples include: a coupon good for a whole-body massage, “slave for a day,” naked breakfast in bed, or sex on command — no expiry dates allowed!
2. A sexy game: Add some spice back to your bedroom romps with games that are made just for the two of you (or more, depending on how adventurous you are feeling). Try: Sexy Truth or Dare or XXXopoly (both available at amazon.com).
3. Learn about BDSM together: If you’ve wanted to bring whips and bondage into the bedroom, here’s your chance to explore your desires in a safe and controlled manner. Try: The VibraWhip, a soft, vibrating whip that will ease you into the S&M lifestyle, and pick up S&M 101 by Jay Wiseman to learn more about safe but exciting role-playing.
Carmelia Ray is a matchmaking expert and author from Toronto, Canada. She has been a professional matchmaker and dating coach for over 20 years.